my heart hurts.

the funeral is tuesday.

don't expect me at school on monday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edit (later)

after trying to deal with the thoughts in my head I went and got my hair cut. It's short(er) now.

sander gave me his pin.

how 50s cute is that?

i cant deal.

i cant.

never take a loved one for granted, you never know when they'll be taken away.

i can never seem to wrap my mind around the "WHY'S" of life...
but i will never, ever, stop asking them.

always searching, always prying, always questioning, always speculating, always inquisitive, always mystified, always puzzled.

i don't know

=================================================

i havn't felt *nervous in a long time
since i stepped out on stage
or thought i saw you

i want things to be simple
and quaint

i'm at this place where i'm questioning everything
everything. everything. everything.

things i thought were self explanitory
aren't.
when i feel something,
i wonder if i really felt it.
i'm asking *why
why. why. why.


i'm contemplating
i'm uncertain
i'm suspicious of my own existence
my very survival

Currently Playing The Beatles 1 By The Beatles see related

i feel sick.

when fatigue washes over me, i swoon with lust for the careless, unoccupied elegance. so i watch it carry away the ounces of color from my face. my stripped skin, shallow and transparent, glares into the sun, shines in the moonlight. i slap the alarm clock and the beeping continues to gnaw my ears. i throw away the cover and the cold bites into any exposed skin. rubbing my face raw to retrieve any trace of youth, i stare into the mirror. and i say, i say, all you need is sleep.

....

I updated my other sites. [Contrary to what I stated a few days ago.]